


let's not talk about politics / at the christmas table

by rainbowblue13



Series: how did we get here? [8]
Category: Do No Harm (TV), Hamilton - Miranda, In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: American Politics, Gen, Immigration & Emigration, Xenophobia, alexander hates jefferson but what else is new, let him rest (tm), ruben has to supervise these two children, usnavi is just trying to be fair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowblue13/pseuds/rainbowblue13
Summary: A.Ham: @usnavy @rebelen If you will introduce yourselves, pleaserebelen: Uhrebelen: I'm Rubenusnavy: @A.ham are you seriousOr, friends probably shouldn't debate politics.





	let's not talk about politics / at the christmas table

**Author's Note:**

> HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TO READ "i didn't sign up to be a politician" FIRST
> 
> Lots of guests on this one, I hope you enjoy! Sorry if it gets too weird, i have no idea how american finances work lmao
> 
> (also kudos if you got the jacksfilms reference in the title, i couldnt resist)

**moneydude:** FUCKING JEFFERSON

**rebelen:** Is that what you're doing right now or

**moneydude:** ew no

**rebelen:** #lovewins

**moneydude:** I HATE THAT PRICK

**rebelen:** #hatesexwins

**moneydude:** i give up

**usnavy:** haha but no really, what did he do?

**moneydude:** besides being his obnoxious self?

**moneydude:** so we were talking about NY hospital policies and what we should fund, nothing serious

**rebelen:** How is that nothing serious??

**moneydude:** YOU GET MY POINT

**moneydude:** when this fucking guy goes ahead and says that we shouldn't fund any medical trials because they're a waste of money

**moneydude:** im like "uuuuh so doctors clearly dont need any new medicines or treatments to cure patients, is what you're saying"

**moneydude:** AND THEN THE KICKER

**moneydude:** he says "why dont they just use what they have already? they're being greedy"

**rebelen:** What the fuck

**moneydude:** RIGHT??

**rebelen:** How does he think current medicine and treatments came about?? Pure magic?

**moneydude:** i have no idea how or if his brain works

**usnavy:** okay but to be fair it looks like you have a thing against him, so maybe you're exaggerating

**usnavy:** he seemed decent when i met him, despite the fact that I accidentally called him Jeffershit

**rebelen:** I see your point but Alex is always exaggerating

**moneydude:** you wanna look into him urself? go ahead

**moneydude:** actually, you said Sonny was an activist, right?

**usnavy:** yea, he takes after Nina

 

_moneydude has added sonnysideup to the chat_

 

**sonnysideup:** sup

**moneydude:** hey lil dude

**rebelen:** I know your height and I don't think you're in a position to judge @moneydude

**moneydude:** @sonnysideup what's ur opinion on the Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson

**sonnysideup:** hes the worst

**moneydude:** thank u

 

_moneydude has removed sonnysideup from the chat_

 

**usnavy:** you could've coordinated that

**moneydude:** true, but i didnt

**moneydude:** ur cousin just knows whats up

**rebelen:** This is so intense I don't know who to root for

**usnavy:** nah, i need an expert opinion

**moneydude:** imma tell sonny u said that

 

_usnavy has added ninaspira to the chat_

 

**ninaspira:** Hello?

**usnavy:** nina, meet alexander and ruben. they're friends of mine

**moneydude:** heyo

**rebelen:** Hi

**ninaspira:** Hi, nice to meet you!

**moneydude:** woah someone else with grammar™

**moneydude:** anyway

**moneydude:** @ninaspira opinion on Thomas Jefferson

**ninaspira:** Secretary of State Jefferson? Is this like a test?

**usnavy:** we're trying to prove a point

**ninaspira:** Very outdated policies, not a fan. Conservative in a bad way. Good fashion sense though.

**moneydude:** thank you!! also his fashion sense isn't even that great, the magenta's obnoxious. he's worn it to actual cabinet meetings.

**ninaspira:** Cabinet meetings? Who are you?

 

_usnavy has removed ninaspira from the chat_

 

**moneydude:** Treasury Secretary

**moneydude:** heeeeey wat was that about

**usnavy:** you forget that explaining clones is difficult

**rebelen:** You seem to be losing, Usnavi

**usnavy:** i dunno man, i just like having all the sides of the story. it's what i do

**moneydude:** I can take care of that. and i'll still win.

**usnavy:** how?

 

_moneydude has changed his name to A.Ham_

 

_A.Ham has added T.Jeffs to the chat_

 

**A.Ham:** Hello. You are probably wondering why it is I have called upon you today

**T.Jeffs:** Greetings. I'm indeed curious considering your constant need to speak nonsense from the garbage disposal that you call your mouth rather than listening to anyone besides yourself.

**T.Jeffs:** And you still refuse to use contractions. Typical.

**A.Ham:** As a matter of fact, Secretary Jefferson, I've added you to this particular group for you to speak. A few friends of mine had some queries for you.

**A.Ham:** @usnavy @rebelen If you will introduce yourselves, please

**rebelen:** Uh

**rebelen:** I'm Ruben

**usnavy:** @A.ham are you serious

**T.Jeffs:** Ah, is is an admirer? At disbelief due to the prospect of meeting me, I see. Hello.

**A.Ham:** @usnavy You can ask him anything about his policies.

**usnavy:** okay uh, what's your opinion on taxing?

**T.Jeffs:** I personally root for the creation of individual manteinance of states rather than taking money from states in already stable positions to aid others in debt or ruin, allowing for economic independence and less of a monarchal system.

**usnavy:** okay?

**A.Ham:** Yes, clearly Jefferson is a supporter of the sedation of America's economy

**T.Jeffs:** Well, it seems that our dear @usnavy didn't ask you, which is understandable

**T.Jeffs:** Besides, Hamilton, the kind of state taxes you're pushing for only helps the rich get richer while the hard working class is thrown under the bus.

**usnavy:** i don't know much about economics or anything but i mean, he kinda has a point, alex

**A.Ham:** Mhm

**usnavy:** uh i think im done? i guess?

**A.Ham:** You sure, Usnavi? 

**T.Jeffs:** Do you call your friends by their screenames?

**usnavy:** oh no, my real life name is usnavi haha

**usnavy:** when my parents moved to the u.s. from D.R. they saw a boat that said u.s. navy and decided to name me after that

**T.Jeffs:** Ah, an immigrant. Figures.

**usnavy:** what?

**T.Jeffs:** Well, when you said that you didn't really understand economics

**T.Jeffs:** It makes sense because you're not a real american

**rebelen:** Woah woah woah

**rebelen:** "Real" american?

**T.Jeffs:** Yes, the ones who are actually born in the country

**rebelen:** So I guess citizenships and greencards are just given out as a consolation??

**T.Jeffs:** Don't misunderstand me, they're definitely citizens (IF they have the legal papers), but it's not the same.

**T.Jeffs:** @usnavy Your parents DID move here legally, right?

**rebelen:** Did you actually just ask him that!?

**T.Jeffs:** He shouldn't be offended if it isn't true

**usnavy:** okay so lemme get into why you're super incorrect about literally everything you've said. First of all, one's capability to be successful or one's intelligence is NOT determined by where they're born, considering the two barely functioning brain cells that you seem to have. alexander, as much as you may hate him,  is smart as FUCK. and one of the smartest girls i know is the daughter of two immigrants, who have more balls than you ever will. second of all, the term of a real or fake american ain't just close minded, it's a load of bullshit because, in case you never took a history class in your life, ALL AMERICANS ARE IMMIGRANTS. they came from a different country searching for a better life, which is the same for anyone else that moves here, wherever they're from. finally, /yes/ my parents were legal, like me, because otherwise it wouldn't make sense that i go OUT OF MY WAY to talk to people in the US FUCKING GOVERNMENT, JEFFERSHIT

**rebelen:** FUCKING GET HIM

**T.Jeffs:** There is no need to get so aggressive. I am, as you said, the Secretary of State of the U.S. government, and if you wish to debate I will gladly do so, if not just a formality, considering your clear lack of experience

**usnavy:** lack of experience huh? "I propose that, once my plan is applied, that more consideration is taken regarding low-class citizens and immigrants, don't let them be denied. After all, they are the backbone of our nation, do you forget most of our founding fathers got here through migration?"

 

_usnavy has sent a photo_

 

**rebelen:** Seeing Usnavi without his hat is weird

**T.Jeffs:** THERE'S TWO OF YOU?

 

_rebelen has sent a photo_

 

**rebelen:** More like three

**A.Ham:** Oh yeah Jefferson, you got beaten in a cabinet meeting by an immigrant that wasn't even me

**A.Ham:** Figures

 

_T.Jeffs has left the chat_

 

_A.Ham has changed his name to moneydude_

 

**moneydude:** dont judge me, the name grew on me

**rebelen:** I cannot believe I actually witnessed this

**moneydude:** @usnavy so?

**usnavy:** fucking jefferson

**moneydude:** thank you

**rebelen:** @moneydude that must've taken a lot of self control

**moneydude:** u have no idea

**usnavy:** i don't get it Alex, why didn't you just tell me his views on immigration??

**moneydude:** i wanted you to come up with the conclusion yourself rather than just telling you what to think

**moneydude:** also, it wouldn't have been as fun

**rebelen:** Lmao

**usnavy:** thanks, alex :)

**rebelen:** Is anyone down for pranking Jefferson some time

**moneydude:** always

* * *

**G.Wash:** Hamilton

**moneydude:** Yes, sir?

**G.Wash:**  Is it true that you sent a lookalike to a cabinet meeting to fill in for you?

**moneydude:** Let me guess: Jefferson?

**G.Wash:** Yes

**moneydude:** I am personally more offended that you didn't realize this until over a week afterwards

**G.Wash:** Meet me in my office

**moneydude:** Right

**Author's Note:**

> Usnavi is a cinnamon roll but deep down he's truly a savage (also still not enough Ruben in this one but the next one has a whole lot of him don't worry: it'll also be multichaptered!)
> 
> i'm always free to talk at my tumblr, marianara-sauce (rainbowblue13 is now my art blog btw!)


End file.
